Cruel Fate

Finals ended and I flew home for Christmas break. I kind of left things open with both Hott Erik & Austin Strait - I hadn't seen either of them since the snuggling incident, and I only talked to Austin a few times while we were both in our home state for the holidays (too far away from each other to feasibly meet up). My hometown is a very small and very suburban. I didn't have a car, so I was extremely bored. I spent 80% of my time on my laptop. Two interesting developments happened over the break tho:

First: SPP thought it was a good idea to reinitiate contact via dirty texting. We hadn't seen each other since the week after Thanksgiving. We spent multiple nights sending each other quite naughty messages. It makes me wonder if he plans on reinitiating in-person contact as well...

Second: I met a guy in my hometown. That never happens. I went to the one local bar with some buddies the night after Christmas, and saw a cute, tall guy who looked familiar (I'm very tall for a girl, so height is always attractive to me). I introduced myself, and he remembered me as my sister's little sister, and I remembered him once he told me his name. He was a Senior in HS when I was a Freshman - I'd always thought he was attractive, but never interacted with him (what, with me being a lowly freshman and all). Nothing atypical about what happened: we talked some that night and there was a definite spark. He facebooked me the next day, and we exchanged some messages.

Now he lives halfway across the country in my home state, where he's working on a masters in acting. So Actor Mark and I have continued our correspondence via online chatting and a bit of phone time. I have a huge crush on him, plain and simple. And he seems extremely interested in me. But there's no near-future plans for either of us to end up in the same city. So we both feel a bit doomed to continue talking, and yet we keep doing it. He's so refreshingly honest and open and frank about the fact that he finds me attractive. He told me it's because he feels like there's nothing to lose and everything to gain when it comes to me. Who knows...maybe we can find a way to see each other sometime in the nearish future and see if there is indeed something between us like there seems to be. I know that I think about him more than I should for someone I've spent no more than 30 minutes face-time talking to.

At the least, my single life in DC is still hilarious enough to keep me distracted some. :)

Snuggly Bunnies

A few weeks later, Austin Strait asked me to go ice skating with him. I was a bit taken aback, given his tryst with my roommate and all. I didn't know how to respond really, so I invited my other roommate along with us to make sure he knew it was a platonic thing, and because she really wanted to go ice skating. I talked to Hott Erik about it, and he said that Austin was probably hurt that I invited C2 along. Whoops. I didn't want to hurt his feelings or anything, but I thought it was, admittedly, weird that he wanted to go on a date with me after being interested in my roommate.

So C1 & C2 sat me down one night to tell me that they thought I should give Austin Strait a chance and go on a real date with him. They talked me throught it, and I decided...you know what, I think that's a good idea. I should give him a chance. Well, that night, I was gchatting with Hott Erik & this happened:

Hott Erik: So, are you a good snuggler?
Me: Yes. The Best. Are you?
Hott Erik: Yes. The Best.
Me: Well, then it looks like we should snuggle.
(disclaimer: I did not foresee the following response, nor was I intending to illicit it)
Hott Erik: Your place or mine?
Me: Mine.
(disclaimer: I still did not think he was serious)
Hott Erik: I'm on my way.

Approximately 4 minutes later, Hott Erik showed up on my doorstep at 11:45pm. Note: this was the second time I'd ever seen him, the first being the meeting on the street/game watching party. In my head, I'm thinking, "Oh god, I just got myself into a situation where he's going to think I wanted to hook up and I barely know him and don't want to be a slut" and all other manner of stream-of-consciousness. I feigned normalcy and he came in. And believe it or not, we snuggled. And talked. Until 3am, when I walked him out and he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Needless to say, I'm more than a tad confused. I was later asked if I'd like to snuggle again soon. It hasn't happened yet (I'll keep you posted). Is snuggling the new dating? Is gchatting a form of foreplay? He doesn't even have my phone number, for goodness sake.

I guess that kind of screwed things up with Austin Strait too. We never did go ice skating. We haven't seen each other since, actually. I asked him once why we never hang out, and he said I had given him the heisman. Yeah, I didn't know what that meant either. Again, whoops. I like both of them, and truthfully I would gladly date either of them. But somehow I feel like they figured it'd be best to neither one make a move for the sake of the other. And where does that leave me? Getting screwed. Or, if we're going to take the words literally, not.

A conversation entire in links

A gchat convo between Austin Strait and me:

Part A:

Austin: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuf2YtXs7ak
Me: I see your bryan adams and I raise you...hall and oates: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ap-OO0xqTe4
Austin: well played. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sJPUTTfNbg. You're welcome.
Me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmCkaOZyqrg&feature=related
Austin: perfect play. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WMfU_IeMl4
Me: brilliant move. The only thing I have to combat that is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BARLfUmyBJA

Part B:
Austin: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Ware
Me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Pinafore
Austin: Well played, Driggs.
Me: I'm a formidable opponent. Even while learning about promissory estoppel.
Austin: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metallica
Me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sorghaghtani_Beki
Austin: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/75/Michael_ware.jpg/225px-Michael_ware.jpg
Me: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5a/Lil_Wayne_cropped.jpg
Austin: http://www.chicagogigs.com/images/content/mike-jones5840490.jpg
Me: http://stuffflypeoplelike.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/173729__rick_ross_l1.jpg
Austin: http://www.impawards.com/1989/posters/prancer.jpg

Football Fans

One of the first thing you should know about me is I meet people on the street. Case in point: Walking home from the metro one day, I saw two guys wearing shirts for my home football team standing outside of a house. I was almost past them before I realized that a) they were attractive and b) they were wearing my team. It was a big game day, so of course I stopped, turned around and asked if they were fans. In the ensuing conversation, I found myself talking to someone who knew two of my hometown friends, meeting a girl who with whom I go to law school, and invited to a game watching party later that evening. I wouldn't normally go to a party with people I had just met, but I thought there were too many ties to let this one go.

So I cajoled one of my roommates (C1) into going with me. It was a rowhouse full of people from my home state cheering on our team, so that was a lot of fun. C1 and I both found the two guys, Austin Strait (from my home state) and Hott Erik (one that lived there in the rowhouse) quite attractive. It was pretty funny, at the end of the night Austin was walking us out the front door and said, to neither of us in particular, "Can I have your number so we can have that dance party sometime?" C1 and I looked at each other and shrugged and she said, "Which one of us are you talking to?" Austin Strait looked a little embarrassed and then said, "Well, why don't you give me you number C1?"

Ok, the second thing you should know about me is I spend an inordinate amount of time with my laptop and therefore on google chat. It's not my fault - it's the product of being at law school and constantly connected to my notes, and therefore my laptop, and therefore the internet, and therefore gchat. So Austin and I began a gchat friendship that week (as did Hott Erik & I, tho to a lesser extent). The next weekend both my roomies, a friend in town, and I met up with Austin Strait over on his side of town. By the end of the evening, a little something-something transpired between Strait & C1. And why do we call him Austin Strait? He listens to George Strait every night before he goes to bed. No shitting you. He has to listen to George to fall asleep. He once told me he spends at least 8 hours a day wishing he was, listening to, or thinking about George Strait.

After C1 & Austin's tryst, they didn't see each other again; she said there wasn't really a spark. However, we continued our friendship (solely thru gchat). Hott Erik and I did as well. Tho with Hott Erik, there was always a sexual/romantic edge to them. With Austin, our gchat convos were purely platonic and hilarious. An example to follow.

Devolution

After the first night, we had another PG "sleepover" (I am, after all, a lady) after watching some football together at his house, and went on a couple of dates with some less-than-PG sleepovers involved (I am, after all, a woman). I began to notice that he wasn't one who liked to be pinned down with plans, and as my time got less and less free with studying towards finals I was fine with it.

As time went on, the thing with SPP kind of quickly devolved into less than dating and more than friends. But I wasn't too worried about it, because, well, it's not like I was looking for anything else. What was interesting was how he moving changed our relationship. Soon after we'd seen each other a couple of times, he funnily enough moved with 3 guys into a house 2 blocks from mine. SPP was so worried he'd find himself with a bonafide girlfriend who lived way too conveniently close to stop by often that he made it very clear that would not be the case. Woah woah woah...someone's got some mommy issues.

But, in SPP's defense...he served a vital role in my rehabilitation from the ex. Some good, not serious at all, fun. And, well, I'm still friends with him and his roommates, so I have new, fun neighbors to hang out with some. I'm currently working on being Elaine to their Seinfeld grouping. More on that later...In the mean time, I would have possibly gotten my feelings hurt more by SPP's keeping me at arm's length, but well, I had some other complications to my love life to keep me distracted.

Night at Roxanne's

When I left the bar that night, I immediately got a text from SPP. The kid's bold when he wants to be, that's for sure. "Elise?" "Yes?" "Hi." "Hello." "I am going to save you in my phone and in my heart." So we started a bit of a text romance that evening. The next day he kept me company on gchat while I was in my classes and he was at work. Since my girlfriends and I were going out that night, we had concocted a bit of a plan to get everyone out together.

After much confusion, jello shots with the girls at Millie & Als, and shitty texting on Pat's part, we all ended up at Roxanne's in AdMo. I showed up with my roommates and some other friends, including Eric. Now Eric is one of my best friends at law school, and well, he apparently gets me in trouble with boys. What I mean is: boys are intimidated by us or something - they think we're together/get the wrong impression a lot. So when we walked into Roxanne's & I introduced SPP to Eric, Pat left & walked downstairs to Brass Monkey. Turns out he thought I had shown up to meet up him with another boy in tow...riiiight.

So that night we talked and shot the shit and he kept touching my legs, claiming to try to "warm them up." We had some definite chemistry and I was having a good time. He suggested we get out of there - we had talked about staying up until 4 or 5am in one of those great late-night conversations of which I'm so fond. "And if we decide to make out a little b/c we feel like that's what we wanna do, then you know, that's what we'll do." I'm not one to bring a boy home...at least I didn't see myself as one. This whole single game was still new to me, so I had new rules to make. So, I told him we could go back to my place, but that it wasn't going to be "that way." With the parameters set, we grabbed a cab and Pat immediately started kissing me inside it, distracting both of us from the cabbie trying to tell us that he wouldn't take us where we wanted to go. Whoops.

Another cab later, with less kissing and more talking to the Ethiopian cab driver about runners (Pat ran track in his day), and we ended up at my place. We made out on the couch, giggling constantly. We heard the girls come home a bit later and ran upstairs to my room giggling. We put on PJs, hopped in bed and ended up talking and kissing until 4am, just like we'd said. The next morning involved getting some breakfast together before he headed to the metro, and that was that. We seemed pretty into each other. I didn't know where this was going, but I knew I was gonna have some fun for sure.

Smooth

Though I was back in the saddle, it took a while for anything to happen. Well, I suppose things got a bit weird between the Brit and I on Halloween. The result of too much alcohol, nostalgia for Cait who was in town with us, and who knows what else. He thought it was a good idea to kiss me while we were sharing a Jumbo Slice in DC. And then when I asked him what he was doing, he thought it was a good idea to literally run away from me. We couldn't find his drunk-ass for a good 10 minutes. I'll be the first to admit the experience was jarring at the least, and it took a bit of time before we could be ourselves again. Thank goodness our friendship is back on track and all is well now.

The weekend after Halloween, I was out in Georgetown at a bar: I was with a friend from undergrad who was in the District for a conference, and we were out with her conference buddies. Truthfully I wasn't that close with this girl, and I wasn't interested in the conference buddies who are all undergrad kids. So I looked over and saw a group of 6 guys standing in a circle talking to each other. I was relieved because they did not fit the preppy Georgetown type (way too similar to my undergrad for me). I took a swig of beer, and told myself, "why not?" I walked over to all six of them, inserted myself into their conversation and said, "Did you guys go to Georgetown? Because you don't look like it." They laughed and one said, "No no." So I asked what they did. This smartass one looks down at his beer and says, "Well, I'm holding a beer, that's what I do."

Now watch closely because this smartass becomes a new character. We call him Soul Patch Pat b/c my roommate thought he had a soul patch when she met him briefly (it's actually a cleft chin, no need to tell me not to get with a guy who has a soul patch - its already in my unwritten rules, don't you worry).



My favorite line of the evening came from SPP's roommate Nals. I asked the guys what they'd be talking about if I wasn't there - if it were just guy talk. His quick-witted reply was, "Probably you." Talk about smooth.

I spent the rest of the evening talking to all of them. SPP ended up endearing me to him by the end of the night: when he found out I was a 1L he said, "I will wife you up right now." I was amused by the use of "wife" as a verb, what can I say. At the end of the evening, SPP exchanged our numbers by stealing my phone from me and putting himself in there with the tagline, "Google Me." It's another boy-meets-girl in a bar story, but probably not your typical one.

New York Saves Your Soul

The next weekend I took a last minute trip to NYC with two of my best law school buddies, Just Eric and Dan. By all accounts I shouldn't have gone - it seemed like all of my friends who live in the city were either unable to host me or out of town. But I don't always make the most logical of decsions. So the three of us took the Chinatown bus & got into NYC in time for dinner & drinks at a Cuban restaurant. The first night was one of those typical NYC nights: I was out with Just Eric, his BFF Brendan & a random coworker. We barhopped, became friends with a random Norweigian and her friends, and danced the night away until 4am.

The next evening I met an old friend, Cait, at a play that one of our undergrad friends starred in. I hadn't seen Cait in years, and she was actually the missing link between the Brit & I. The two of them had become extremely close working together in England. After the play and the cast after-party, we headed to the Upper West Side to meet up with some mutual friends from undergrad (her best friends in the city). One of these guys we were meeting I didn't know very well, but we'd always had a lot of mutual friends. We'll call him Yacht Boy.

As the evening was winding down, Yacht Boy & I were doing a bit of flirting. It went down something like this:

Elise: You've never had a Jumbo Slice? You don't understand...best pizza ever. Seriously.
YB: Really? You're trying to out-pizza New York? You can't do that, it's impossible.
Elise: As a whole, New York pizza wins out, but Jumbo Slice is still the best in my book.
YB: You're ridiculous.
Elise: Okay, I'll give you a chance to redeem New York - what do you have in New York that's better than in DC? (yes, I realize this is a ridiculous question)
YB leans in for a kiss. We both smile.
YB: Oh, sorry, that's probably not a fair answer.
YB leans in for another.

As we're leaving the bar I realize I can't find my iPhone. I suppose I should interject some vital information here about me being a destructive mess. At this point in time I had already lost my Driver's License and Credit Card the weekend of Brit & Co in DC, and I had broken my digital camera the weekend I went to visit them at their school. And now...my iPhone fell prey to my destructive tendencies. So, what was I to do? Shack up with YB seemed like the appropriate response in such a situation.

We all ended up heading back to YB's apartment for some more beers, and headed up to his roof over looking the city. Everyone did the whole, "I'm going inside, it's cold" thing in order to leave the two of us alone. YB put his arm around me and we talked about how it was nice to be more than just facebook friends. (Technology is my primary form of communication apparently) We did some more kissing on the roof before, well, we headed back inside.

The next morning, Cait and I were brunching and debriefing about the evening, and I remember telling her how silly I felt that I needed a rebound hook-up after the breakup. But there it was, making me feel all self-confident and girly again.

Thanks to this weekend, I was officially back in the saddle.

Don't Drink and Cut Hair

The weekend after I met Brit & Co, I was yearning to have another adventure. The Brazillian made up my mind for me: come to their school in middle-of-nowhere Virginia to pretend like I'm 19 again with frat parties and football games. I was game, and made the 3 hr drive on Friday afternoon.

A bit more on the Brit & I: We have one of the oddest friendships I've ever encountered. I can say this in retrospect, now that we're really close, but some weird things have happened between us. It's such a good thing that we're just friends, because we'd be a shit show were we to date. This weekend began a bad routine for us: one of us getting blackout drunk and doing something that pisses the other one off (in this case him abandoning me in a city where I didn't know anyone and couldn't get ahold of anyone), us fighting...a LOT (making a bit of a scene in a frat house once he reappeared), and then the drunk one not remembering anything in the morning. And then the worst part of the routine: the debrief the next day (it took a good 30 minutes of me listing his sins). Why I felt the need to debrief him of his transgressions I'll never know.

The weekend was a blast, regardless of the odd friendship complications between the Brit & me. The International Kids took me to a frat party....I chilled in one of their friends room (the Queen Bee as he's known) the whole night, while the party roared in the basement unbeknownst to me. Here I was, thinking the party was just people running around the rooms of the house - I didn't know there was a live band and dancing in the basement. I still get made fun of for that one...

The most tragic part of the weekend came when, after a power hour, Queen Bee & I decided to cut the Brit's hair. I don't think he'll mind if I post a pic of the results. Remember kids, don't drink and cut hair.



Sunday before I drove back, we wandered upon a kiddie carnival on the campus: bouncy castle, obstacle course, American Gladiator style jousting, inflatable twister, etc. A few hours acting like we were 5 and one pair of the Brit's split pants later...and I headed on home to the District.

Brit & Co

A month after the break up, I had a new boyfriend. His name my couch. I would dream about my couch; I would talk about my couch at school; all I did in class was count down until I could walk home and lay back down on it with remote in hand. I guess I deal with depression by forming unnatural attachments to inanimate objects, most likely furniture. Remember to not let me meet your recliner after a death in the family.



The couch and I broke up, cold turkey, the weekend of the Brit & Co. It had been a month since the ex flew home that fateful September day. But first, a bit of background on the Brit:

The summer before I had visited the ex at the end of his study abroad program in England, and in doing so I got to meet the Brit. The Brit was the program assistant for the study abroad program, and had been for 3 years, so I had heard much about him thru one of my best friends who worked with him on the program one summer. How we met: I saw him in the courtyard to his university, ran over and yelled, "HI! You're ____! I've known who you are for years and you're awesome!" He's told me since then that he honestly didn't know what was happening and that for a second or two he actually thought he had started tripping. Naturally, I scared the shit out of the poor Brit with my overly affectionate American style. Ok, so I've been told what I did is weird in America, too. Regardless...he was now in America, studying at a school close-ish to DC. He was coming in for the weekend, and I had offered to show him around since he was a District Virgin.

Friday night, my roommates, my bee eff eff at law school (known affectionately as Just Eric), and I headed to AdMo to meet Brit & Co. "& Co" included: German, Another Brit, French, and Brazillian. Creative names, I know, but their nationalities make them who they are. This weekend was a whirlwind: Dinner & drinks at La Rumba, Jello (jelly if you're a Brit) shots at Millie & Als, dancing the night away at Grand Central. The nine of us had one of those perfect nights where the social circle fit perfectly. We introduced the lovely international friends to the glory that is the Jumbo Slice, a DC institution. The best part of the evening probably came when my roommate was smoking on the porch of Grand Central and a guy walking by thought it was a good idea to put her in a headlock.

After Friday night, I showed them the mall whilst hungover on Saturday; we took phallic pictures with the Wash Monument - the usual. I had a house party that night. We dinered it up on Sunday, and then they drove off. It was a perfect weekend. New friends, new adventures. That's when I made the change. And I suppose that's when things started to become interesting.

That girl.

I moved to the District in August of 08 to embark on that grand voyage that is known as law school. Now I'll be honest, I don't have good reasons for going to law school. I graduated and wanted to get a PhD in Art History (seriously???); that plan was foiled when the 15 programs I applied to all rejected me. So I did what any sensible liberal arts major who doesn't have a plan would do: apply to law school.

So it's a year later and I'm enrolled in law school. I thankfully moved to DC with two of my best friends from undergrad who came to the city with those hopes-and-aspirations-of-making-it-in-a-big-city that young people our age have (aka they were job-searching). I was leaving a boyfriend back home at our undergrad where he was still finishing up, but we had talked it thru and decided to try the long distance thing.

I move in, start classes, begin the adjustment to month-long sex droughts. In September the boy comes up to visit me in DC for our two year anniversary. I drive him to the airport on Sunday after an idyllic 3 days recreating our two years together in a new city. I say, "Good-bye, I love you, I'll see you in 26 days for fall break!" I'm sure you can see what's coming next, but maybe not its hellacious manner: I got a text from the boy as I'm pulling in my driveway: "I left you a letter on your nightstand. Please forgive me."

Yep, I was broken up with after two years by a note on my night stand. I'm "that girl." (Though I usually tell myself that he's "that guy" to make myself feel better)

So this blog is the story of how I've put my life back together, and the ridiculous situations that have resulted from me being "back on the market," if you will.