Best Line Ever?

I was out this past weekend for a friend's birthday. We pre-partied in the law school dorms (oh, how classy and reminiscent of freshman year of college), so I showed up there around 10. A kid in my section has this awesome house in AdMo where we party sometimes, and I've always had a thing for his hot roommate Vigs. Vigs, however, has always been unavailable. Some sort of technicality involving a 2 year practically live-in girlfriend. So yeah, off limits.

Well I show up to this pre-party and Vigs is there with the kid in my class, which is a bit odd because he doesn't normally come out with law school kids since he isn't one himself. We're not always fun to go out with, I'm sure. In case you didn't know, law students are weird. Vigs didn't know anyone but me, so he almost immediately attached himself to me. I didn't think much of it; I just thought it was a situational decision. Though, I did notice he was fairly flirty. When I popped over to the bathroom at one point, my friend LS grabbed me and said, "Elise, Vigs is totally hitting on you. You should go for it. But, do know that he and his girlfriend aren't completely broken up." Translation: "He's single! Do it! Do it! Do it!"

So I started the charm. We kept coming back to each other throughout the evening for rounds of flirting, nothing crazy. I was getting tired and ready to leave the bar much later (we were out at Local 16), and I went to him and told him I was leaving. Vigs looks at me, smiles, and says, "No, you're not." He then leans over and kisses me on the cheek before walking away. I was a bit taken aback at his brazenness - that I would stay for him - the nerve! So I start my beeline for the door, and I see him next to it. So I go up and say, "Yes, I am leaving." He kisses me on the cheek again and says, "Well, you gotta do what you gotta do."

I looked at him and I said, "Just so you know, if you want to chase me, I'm pretty fun to catch." He looked me in the eyes, grabbed my chin and kissed me on the lips. I smiled, said, "Good night," and walked away.

I'm proud of my line, but in the end, it didn't get me a date or even a phone number. It did however get me a kiss from an extremely attractive guy. And I felt so smooth that I am happy with leaving the situation where it is. I've told a few friends the line that I used, and how it came to me in a moment of glory. The reaction has been extremely positive - the Brit even said, "that may have been the best line ever seen on the planet." So, needless to say, I plan on using this again and seeing if it gets me a date. Social experiment to follow.

Kate Nash

I have been on a kick of Kate Nash's music lately. I love her lyrics, as well as the fact that when she sings you can hear her British accent, something I don't seem to hear often in female British singers. Her song "Foundations" is wonderful; it's the story of a relationship where the two really don't like each other any more but stay together anyways. She talks about loving the fighting between the two of them. I think people are generally more self-destructive that we'd all like to admit.

"My finger tips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation,
and I know that I should let go,
but I can't."

I love those lyrics. I can't think of a time when I was necessarily in that situation, but sometimes I wonder if my last ex felt that way about me. He wanted to do right by me because he cared about me, so he felt it necessary to hold on for a lot longer than he should have, at the expense of me assuming his feelings were much stronger than they were.

My musical situation is kind of odd right now. I listened only to the radio for 2 years when I was with my last boyfriend. I think a lot of it is because we practically lived together, so I never was on my own to sit and listen to new music. And then I just got in the habit of not learning about new, cool bands; when you get out of the music "scene" it can be hard to break back in. The fact that I didn't have an iPod for a long time didn't help things. Since moving to DC, I've jumped back into music wholeheartedly. Once my laptop was stolen, tho, I haven't had iTunes to listen to.

I just got into Pandora pretty intensely as a "stop gap" when I was borrowing a friend's laptop. But I've found myself really enjoying Pandora - I even listen to it on my iPhone when walking to and from school now. So, for the time being, I'll enjoy my Kate Nash and others that Pandora bring me.

High School Revisited

I hadn't talked to SPP in months - not since around the time my house was burglarized. This is, of course, despite the fact that he lives 2 blocks from me. I'm still in contact with Diddy somtimes tho. For those who don't remember, SPP is a guy I dated a bit back in November & Diddy's his roommate. The other night, I had been out to a nice dinner with friends - one of those 3 hour affairs where the wine and conversation is flowing. I went home after dinner because it was after midnight, and I was recovering from a bad cough.

I climb into bed around 1am and open up my latest romance novel (by Susan Elizabeth Phillips - one of my favorites). Yes, I realize this is a bit sad. It was a Saturday night, and at 1am I was in bed reading a romance novel alone. Well, the "alone" part is assumed, right? Who reads romance novels with someone else? Anyways, so I'm enjoying myself (no, not like that you pervs), when my solace is interrupted around an hour later by a text message from whom other than SPP. All it said was "hello." I was feeling a bit snarky and ready to give him shit; i always enjoyed our verbal sparring. So I replied, "You're interrupting my late night romance novel reading. How may I help you?" Thru a series of text messages he tried to convince me to go with him and roommates down to bars on H Street, despite the fact that it was past 2am at this point.

Then I get a call from him. What was odd about this call is that as I hear him through my phone, I realize that I am also hearing him outside. Yes, he and Diddy and another friend were in their car, outside my apartment, yelling up at my window, trying to convince me to go to H Street at 2:15 in the morning. All I could think about was that I felt like a high schooler with a boy throwing a rock at my window to come down. Seriously, guys?

Needless to say I was prudent and sensible and all the things entirely un-Elise like in my decision to stay in with my romance novel. I'm blaming the cough. And Susan Elizabeth Phillips.

Ram.

A quick story. We went out for the first bar review of the semester during our first week back at school. I was, as usual, out on the dance floor making a fool of myself. I'm usually tall, and quite lanky, but I have a blast just acting a fool, with or without alcohol. I was wearing a sweater because of the cold, and I ended up ridiculously overheated with all the dancing. I asked one of my guy friends if he thought it would be weird if I took my sweater off; I was wearing a tank top underneath it. He said, "no, that's not weird, girls wear tank tops out all the time." This was sound logic to me at the time.

So off my sweater comes, and the rigor of dancing intensifies. It was an odd night in that my guy friends thought it was fun to get on either side of me, Night at the Roxbury style. So most of the evening I had a guy on either side. At one such a moment, guy A in front of me started getting a little too vigorous for my style. There's no other way to say this other than he was ramming himself into me. He realizes after a few seconds that this was not cool, but not before the damage was done.

The sheer force of him ramming into me knocked the strap of my tank top down, revealing my breast (thankfully still bra-ensconced) to the entire dance floor. There was a split second where everyone stopped. I swear the music did too - with one of those record scratches and all. Okay, maybe I just imagined that part.

And here I thought I was keeping my reputation at the law school intact. Guy A had to come along and throw a wrench in that plan...

Accidental Double Date

So my roommates have their own dating mishaps. I'm by no means the only one in our household who has the boy drama. Funny story, one of our friends called our apartment a "whore house" during the "Ultimate Shit Show" night because of the three boys being brought home. We were fairly offended at the time, but as time has gone on, we find it fairly funny. So "whore house" is what we often call our place now. In undergrad we lived in a place we lovingly called the "Crack House," so I guess we've established a trend.

C1 ended up dating the guy she picked up the night of the "Ultimate Shit Show." We call him Jason Bobby, in homage to the Hills/the City. C2 has been dating this guy she met at volunteer training. We call him Shaky Shake, or Shaky Tom, because he was so nervous that he was shaking when he asked for her number.

C1 and C2 end up having dates with their respective males on the same evening. They both end up going out to dinner in Chinatown. Both males had discussed the possibility of catching a movie after dinner, but neither had firm plans for such a movie before the dates started.

So, C2 and Shaky Shake finish their meal, and head towards E Street Cinema to see Slumdog Millionaire. They get seats and the lights go down. C2 looks up and sees a familiar face thru the dim light. She looks around and realizes the only two free seats left in the theater are next to her and Shaky Shake. And then realizes with horror that C1 and Jason Bobby are heading her way straight towards those seats. C1 sits down and feels a tap on her leg - It's C2 saying, "Hi - we're here too!"

DC is a pretty big city, but I think the fact that my roommates can accidentally go on a double date shows that sometimes its not big enough. Maybe I'll start dating in NoVa.

The Ultimate Shit Show

I have 5 of the best friends a girl could ask for. I live with two of them (C1 & C2). The other three flew up to DC for a New Years reunion.

Two nights after New Years, we went out for a night on the town. The 6 of us did girl-dinner at Meskerem before meeting up with some of my law school friends, and interestingly enough SPP's roommate Sean (Roommate John stayed in, and SPP was out of town). We all started out at, where else? Millie & Al's. Jello shots abounded, and a few pitchers were shared. We moved onto Brass Monkey eventually and stayed there to dance the night away.

Being that we were a group of 6 ladies on the town and that we were bangin' hot that night, 3 of the girls ended up picking up 3 guys. We all headed back to late night it at Sean & John's, aka Puff Daddy's. John was already asleep, but Sean and I jumped in bed with him, and never left. The three of us stayed up late talking and playing never-have-I-ever. I ended up spending the night as the middle spoon between SPP's two roommates while he was out of town...a bit odd to say the least. So what'd you do last night, Elise? Oh, nothing, just spooned with a guy I used to date's two roommates.

So when I wake up in the morning and walk the 1.5 blocks home, I arrive to find one of my friends on the couch and a boy on our loveseat. I went upstairs, and upon opening the door to my room I realize my bed is currently occupied by a couple. So I turn around and sit down in the hall, not knowing whose room I can go into. At this point I'd had maybe 2 hours of sleep. Thankfully the friend in my room came out and I asked her which room I could go into. I went into the only room occupied by two ladies, and we all started the debriefs...

We had one friend hook up with a guy in my bed. We had another friend hook up with a guy on our loveseat in front of the friend on the couch, only to leave him around 5 in the morning. And we had another friend who successfully baited and switched a guy onto a different of the girls by the end of the evening. At one point in the morning we were sitting on the stoop debriefing the evening, and I said the famous last words, "I think last night was the epitome of the phrase 'shit show.'" Little did I know the reality of that sentence.

After the guys were effectively kicked out, I walked into my room for the first time since it was relinquished by the amorous couple and realized my TV was missing. As was my laptop. My heart sank. I ran downstairs, yelling at the girls that my stuff was missing, and then we horrifying found that all 3 of our laptops, my small TV, plus 3 iPods and $1000 worth of jewelry were gone. Welcome to DC.

The police came and fingerprinted and took a report. It must have happened while we were out in AdMo. Everyone was too drunk or in the midst of hooking up with their respective catches to notice that the things were missing when they all got in a 3am. And I was off playing middle spoon, so I wasn't around. It sucks. A Lot. Losing all the stuff, feeling violated, feeling unsafe. The roomies and I have had a tough transition since, but we're going strong. We have been able to laugh about the experience by calling our burglar the "hamburglar." We were robble-robble-robbled!

Needless to say, 1/3/09 will go down in infamy as The Ultimate Shit Show. At least until Inauguration happened.

Cruel Fate

Finals ended and I flew home for Christmas break. I kind of left things open with both Hott Erik & Austin Strait - I hadn't seen either of them since the snuggling incident, and I only talked to Austin a few times while we were both in our home state for the holidays (too far away from each other to feasibly meet up). My hometown is a very small and very suburban. I didn't have a car, so I was extremely bored. I spent 80% of my time on my laptop. Two interesting developments happened over the break tho:

First: SPP thought it was a good idea to reinitiate contact via dirty texting. We hadn't seen each other since the week after Thanksgiving. We spent multiple nights sending each other quite naughty messages. It makes me wonder if he plans on reinitiating in-person contact as well...

Second: I met a guy in my hometown. That never happens. I went to the one local bar with some buddies the night after Christmas, and saw a cute, tall guy who looked familiar (I'm very tall for a girl, so height is always attractive to me). I introduced myself, and he remembered me as my sister's little sister, and I remembered him once he told me his name. He was a Senior in HS when I was a Freshman - I'd always thought he was attractive, but never interacted with him (what, with me being a lowly freshman and all). Nothing atypical about what happened: we talked some that night and there was a definite spark. He facebooked me the next day, and we exchanged some messages.

Now he lives halfway across the country in my home state, where he's working on a masters in acting. So Actor Mark and I have continued our correspondence via online chatting and a bit of phone time. I have a huge crush on him, plain and simple. And he seems extremely interested in me. But there's no near-future plans for either of us to end up in the same city. So we both feel a bit doomed to continue talking, and yet we keep doing it. He's so refreshingly honest and open and frank about the fact that he finds me attractive. He told me it's because he feels like there's nothing to lose and everything to gain when it comes to me. Who knows...maybe we can find a way to see each other sometime in the nearish future and see if there is indeed something between us like there seems to be. I know that I think about him more than I should for someone I've spent no more than 30 minutes face-time talking to.

At the least, my single life in DC is still hilarious enough to keep me distracted some. :)

Snuggly Bunnies

A few weeks later, Austin Strait asked me to go ice skating with him. I was a bit taken aback, given his tryst with my roommate and all. I didn't know how to respond really, so I invited my other roommate along with us to make sure he knew it was a platonic thing, and because she really wanted to go ice skating. I talked to Hott Erik about it, and he said that Austin was probably hurt that I invited C2 along. Whoops. I didn't want to hurt his feelings or anything, but I thought it was, admittedly, weird that he wanted to go on a date with me after being interested in my roommate.

So C1 & C2 sat me down one night to tell me that they thought I should give Austin Strait a chance and go on a real date with him. They talked me throught it, and I decided...you know what, I think that's a good idea. I should give him a chance. Well, that night, I was gchatting with Hott Erik & this happened:

Hott Erik: So, are you a good snuggler?
Me: Yes. The Best. Are you?
Hott Erik: Yes. The Best.
Me: Well, then it looks like we should snuggle.
(disclaimer: I did not foresee the following response, nor was I intending to illicit it)
Hott Erik: Your place or mine?
Me: Mine.
(disclaimer: I still did not think he was serious)
Hott Erik: I'm on my way.

Approximately 4 minutes later, Hott Erik showed up on my doorstep at 11:45pm. Note: this was the second time I'd ever seen him, the first being the meeting on the street/game watching party. In my head, I'm thinking, "Oh god, I just got myself into a situation where he's going to think I wanted to hook up and I barely know him and don't want to be a slut" and all other manner of stream-of-consciousness. I feigned normalcy and he came in. And believe it or not, we snuggled. And talked. Until 3am, when I walked him out and he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Needless to say, I'm more than a tad confused. I was later asked if I'd like to snuggle again soon. It hasn't happened yet (I'll keep you posted). Is snuggling the new dating? Is gchatting a form of foreplay? He doesn't even have my phone number, for goodness sake.

I guess that kind of screwed things up with Austin Strait too. We never did go ice skating. We haven't seen each other since, actually. I asked him once why we never hang out, and he said I had given him the heisman. Yeah, I didn't know what that meant either. Again, whoops. I like both of them, and truthfully I would gladly date either of them. But somehow I feel like they figured it'd be best to neither one make a move for the sake of the other. And where does that leave me? Getting screwed. Or, if we're going to take the words literally, not.

A conversation entire in links

A gchat convo between Austin Strait and me:

Part A:

Austin: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuf2YtXs7ak
Me: I see your bryan adams and I raise you...hall and oates: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ap-OO0xqTe4
Austin: well played. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sJPUTTfNbg. You're welcome.
Me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmCkaOZyqrg&feature=related
Austin: perfect play. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WMfU_IeMl4
Me: brilliant move. The only thing I have to combat that is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BARLfUmyBJA

Part B:
Austin: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Ware
Me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Pinafore
Austin: Well played, Driggs.
Me: I'm a formidable opponent. Even while learning about promissory estoppel.
Austin: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metallica
Me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sorghaghtani_Beki
Austin: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/75/Michael_ware.jpg/225px-Michael_ware.jpg
Me: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5a/Lil_Wayne_cropped.jpg
Austin: http://www.chicagogigs.com/images/content/mike-jones5840490.jpg
Me: http://stuffflypeoplelike.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/173729__rick_ross_l1.jpg
Austin: http://www.impawards.com/1989/posters/prancer.jpg

Football Fans

One of the first thing you should know about me is I meet people on the street. Case in point: Walking home from the metro one day, I saw two guys wearing shirts for my home football team standing outside of a house. I was almost past them before I realized that a) they were attractive and b) they were wearing my team. It was a big game day, so of course I stopped, turned around and asked if they were fans. In the ensuing conversation, I found myself talking to someone who knew two of my hometown friends, meeting a girl who with whom I go to law school, and invited to a game watching party later that evening. I wouldn't normally go to a party with people I had just met, but I thought there were too many ties to let this one go.

So I cajoled one of my roommates (C1) into going with me. It was a rowhouse full of people from my home state cheering on our team, so that was a lot of fun. C1 and I both found the two guys, Austin Strait (from my home state) and Hott Erik (one that lived there in the rowhouse) quite attractive. It was pretty funny, at the end of the night Austin was walking us out the front door and said, to neither of us in particular, "Can I have your number so we can have that dance party sometime?" C1 and I looked at each other and shrugged and she said, "Which one of us are you talking to?" Austin Strait looked a little embarrassed and then said, "Well, why don't you give me you number C1?"

Ok, the second thing you should know about me is I spend an inordinate amount of time with my laptop and therefore on google chat. It's not my fault - it's the product of being at law school and constantly connected to my notes, and therefore my laptop, and therefore the internet, and therefore gchat. So Austin and I began a gchat friendship that week (as did Hott Erik & I, tho to a lesser extent). The next weekend both my roomies, a friend in town, and I met up with Austin Strait over on his side of town. By the end of the evening, a little something-something transpired between Strait & C1. And why do we call him Austin Strait? He listens to George Strait every night before he goes to bed. No shitting you. He has to listen to George to fall asleep. He once told me he spends at least 8 hours a day wishing he was, listening to, or thinking about George Strait.

After C1 & Austin's tryst, they didn't see each other again; she said there wasn't really a spark. However, we continued our friendship (solely thru gchat). Hott Erik and I did as well. Tho with Hott Erik, there was always a sexual/romantic edge to them. With Austin, our gchat convos were purely platonic and hilarious. An example to follow.

Devolution

After the first night, we had another PG "sleepover" (I am, after all, a lady) after watching some football together at his house, and went on a couple of dates with some less-than-PG sleepovers involved (I am, after all, a woman). I began to notice that he wasn't one who liked to be pinned down with plans, and as my time got less and less free with studying towards finals I was fine with it.

As time went on, the thing with SPP kind of quickly devolved into less than dating and more than friends. But I wasn't too worried about it, because, well, it's not like I was looking for anything else. What was interesting was how he moving changed our relationship. Soon after we'd seen each other a couple of times, he funnily enough moved with 3 guys into a house 2 blocks from mine. SPP was so worried he'd find himself with a bonafide girlfriend who lived way too conveniently close to stop by often that he made it very clear that would not be the case. Woah woah woah...someone's got some mommy issues.

But, in SPP's defense...he served a vital role in my rehabilitation from the ex. Some good, not serious at all, fun. And, well, I'm still friends with him and his roommates, so I have new, fun neighbors to hang out with some. I'm currently working on being Elaine to their Seinfeld grouping. More on that later...In the mean time, I would have possibly gotten my feelings hurt more by SPP's keeping me at arm's length, but well, I had some other complications to my love life to keep me distracted.

Night at Roxanne's

When I left the bar that night, I immediately got a text from SPP. The kid's bold when he wants to be, that's for sure. "Elise?" "Yes?" "Hi." "Hello." "I am going to save you in my phone and in my heart." So we started a bit of a text romance that evening. The next day he kept me company on gchat while I was in my classes and he was at work. Since my girlfriends and I were going out that night, we had concocted a bit of a plan to get everyone out together.

After much confusion, jello shots with the girls at Millie & Als, and shitty texting on Pat's part, we all ended up at Roxanne's in AdMo. I showed up with my roommates and some other friends, including Eric. Now Eric is one of my best friends at law school, and well, he apparently gets me in trouble with boys. What I mean is: boys are intimidated by us or something - they think we're together/get the wrong impression a lot. So when we walked into Roxanne's & I introduced SPP to Eric, Pat left & walked downstairs to Brass Monkey. Turns out he thought I had shown up to meet up him with another boy in tow...riiiight.

So that night we talked and shot the shit and he kept touching my legs, claiming to try to "warm them up." We had some definite chemistry and I was having a good time. He suggested we get out of there - we had talked about staying up until 4 or 5am in one of those great late-night conversations of which I'm so fond. "And if we decide to make out a little b/c we feel like that's what we wanna do, then you know, that's what we'll do." I'm not one to bring a boy home...at least I didn't see myself as one. This whole single game was still new to me, so I had new rules to make. So, I told him we could go back to my place, but that it wasn't going to be "that way." With the parameters set, we grabbed a cab and Pat immediately started kissing me inside it, distracting both of us from the cabbie trying to tell us that he wouldn't take us where we wanted to go. Whoops.

Another cab later, with less kissing and more talking to the Ethiopian cab driver about runners (Pat ran track in his day), and we ended up at my place. We made out on the couch, giggling constantly. We heard the girls come home a bit later and ran upstairs to my room giggling. We put on PJs, hopped in bed and ended up talking and kissing until 4am, just like we'd said. The next morning involved getting some breakfast together before he headed to the metro, and that was that. We seemed pretty into each other. I didn't know where this was going, but I knew I was gonna have some fun for sure.

Smooth

Though I was back in the saddle, it took a while for anything to happen. Well, I suppose things got a bit weird between the Brit and I on Halloween. The result of too much alcohol, nostalgia for Cait who was in town with us, and who knows what else. He thought it was a good idea to kiss me while we were sharing a Jumbo Slice in DC. And then when I asked him what he was doing, he thought it was a good idea to literally run away from me. We couldn't find his drunk-ass for a good 10 minutes. I'll be the first to admit the experience was jarring at the least, and it took a bit of time before we could be ourselves again. Thank goodness our friendship is back on track and all is well now.

The weekend after Halloween, I was out in Georgetown at a bar: I was with a friend from undergrad who was in the District for a conference, and we were out with her conference buddies. Truthfully I wasn't that close with this girl, and I wasn't interested in the conference buddies who are all undergrad kids. So I looked over and saw a group of 6 guys standing in a circle talking to each other. I was relieved because they did not fit the preppy Georgetown type (way too similar to my undergrad for me). I took a swig of beer, and told myself, "why not?" I walked over to all six of them, inserted myself into their conversation and said, "Did you guys go to Georgetown? Because you don't look like it." They laughed and one said, "No no." So I asked what they did. This smartass one looks down at his beer and says, "Well, I'm holding a beer, that's what I do."

Now watch closely because this smartass becomes a new character. We call him Soul Patch Pat b/c my roommate thought he had a soul patch when she met him briefly (it's actually a cleft chin, no need to tell me not to get with a guy who has a soul patch - its already in my unwritten rules, don't you worry).



My favorite line of the evening came from SPP's roommate Nals. I asked the guys what they'd be talking about if I wasn't there - if it were just guy talk. His quick-witted reply was, "Probably you." Talk about smooth.

I spent the rest of the evening talking to all of them. SPP ended up endearing me to him by the end of the night: when he found out I was a 1L he said, "I will wife you up right now." I was amused by the use of "wife" as a verb, what can I say. At the end of the evening, SPP exchanged our numbers by stealing my phone from me and putting himself in there with the tagline, "Google Me." It's another boy-meets-girl in a bar story, but probably not your typical one.

New York Saves Your Soul

The next weekend I took a last minute trip to NYC with two of my best law school buddies, Just Eric and Dan. By all accounts I shouldn't have gone - it seemed like all of my friends who live in the city were either unable to host me or out of town. But I don't always make the most logical of decsions. So the three of us took the Chinatown bus & got into NYC in time for dinner & drinks at a Cuban restaurant. The first night was one of those typical NYC nights: I was out with Just Eric, his BFF Brendan & a random coworker. We barhopped, became friends with a random Norweigian and her friends, and danced the night away until 4am.

The next evening I met an old friend, Cait, at a play that one of our undergrad friends starred in. I hadn't seen Cait in years, and she was actually the missing link between the Brit & I. The two of them had become extremely close working together in England. After the play and the cast after-party, we headed to the Upper West Side to meet up with some mutual friends from undergrad (her best friends in the city). One of these guys we were meeting I didn't know very well, but we'd always had a lot of mutual friends. We'll call him Yacht Boy.

As the evening was winding down, Yacht Boy & I were doing a bit of flirting. It went down something like this:

Elise: You've never had a Jumbo Slice? You don't understand...best pizza ever. Seriously.
YB: Really? You're trying to out-pizza New York? You can't do that, it's impossible.
Elise: As a whole, New York pizza wins out, but Jumbo Slice is still the best in my book.
YB: You're ridiculous.
Elise: Okay, I'll give you a chance to redeem New York - what do you have in New York that's better than in DC? (yes, I realize this is a ridiculous question)
YB leans in for a kiss. We both smile.
YB: Oh, sorry, that's probably not a fair answer.
YB leans in for another.

As we're leaving the bar I realize I can't find my iPhone. I suppose I should interject some vital information here about me being a destructive mess. At this point in time I had already lost my Driver's License and Credit Card the weekend of Brit & Co in DC, and I had broken my digital camera the weekend I went to visit them at their school. And now...my iPhone fell prey to my destructive tendencies. So, what was I to do? Shack up with YB seemed like the appropriate response in such a situation.

We all ended up heading back to YB's apartment for some more beers, and headed up to his roof over looking the city. Everyone did the whole, "I'm going inside, it's cold" thing in order to leave the two of us alone. YB put his arm around me and we talked about how it was nice to be more than just facebook friends. (Technology is my primary form of communication apparently) We did some more kissing on the roof before, well, we headed back inside.

The next morning, Cait and I were brunching and debriefing about the evening, and I remember telling her how silly I felt that I needed a rebound hook-up after the breakup. But there it was, making me feel all self-confident and girly again.

Thanks to this weekend, I was officially back in the saddle.

Don't Drink and Cut Hair

The weekend after I met Brit & Co, I was yearning to have another adventure. The Brazillian made up my mind for me: come to their school in middle-of-nowhere Virginia to pretend like I'm 19 again with frat parties and football games. I was game, and made the 3 hr drive on Friday afternoon.

A bit more on the Brit & I: We have one of the oddest friendships I've ever encountered. I can say this in retrospect, now that we're really close, but some weird things have happened between us. It's such a good thing that we're just friends, because we'd be a shit show were we to date. This weekend began a bad routine for us: one of us getting blackout drunk and doing something that pisses the other one off (in this case him abandoning me in a city where I didn't know anyone and couldn't get ahold of anyone), us fighting...a LOT (making a bit of a scene in a frat house once he reappeared), and then the drunk one not remembering anything in the morning. And then the worst part of the routine: the debrief the next day (it took a good 30 minutes of me listing his sins). Why I felt the need to debrief him of his transgressions I'll never know.

The weekend was a blast, regardless of the odd friendship complications between the Brit & me. The International Kids took me to a frat party....I chilled in one of their friends room (the Queen Bee as he's known) the whole night, while the party roared in the basement unbeknownst to me. Here I was, thinking the party was just people running around the rooms of the house - I didn't know there was a live band and dancing in the basement. I still get made fun of for that one...

The most tragic part of the weekend came when, after a power hour, Queen Bee & I decided to cut the Brit's hair. I don't think he'll mind if I post a pic of the results. Remember kids, don't drink and cut hair.



Sunday before I drove back, we wandered upon a kiddie carnival on the campus: bouncy castle, obstacle course, American Gladiator style jousting, inflatable twister, etc. A few hours acting like we were 5 and one pair of the Brit's split pants later...and I headed on home to the District.

Brit & Co

A month after the break up, I had a new boyfriend. His name my couch. I would dream about my couch; I would talk about my couch at school; all I did in class was count down until I could walk home and lay back down on it with remote in hand. I guess I deal with depression by forming unnatural attachments to inanimate objects, most likely furniture. Remember to not let me meet your recliner after a death in the family.



The couch and I broke up, cold turkey, the weekend of the Brit & Co. It had been a month since the ex flew home that fateful September day. But first, a bit of background on the Brit:

The summer before I had visited the ex at the end of his study abroad program in England, and in doing so I got to meet the Brit. The Brit was the program assistant for the study abroad program, and had been for 3 years, so I had heard much about him thru one of my best friends who worked with him on the program one summer. How we met: I saw him in the courtyard to his university, ran over and yelled, "HI! You're ____! I've known who you are for years and you're awesome!" He's told me since then that he honestly didn't know what was happening and that for a second or two he actually thought he had started tripping. Naturally, I scared the shit out of the poor Brit with my overly affectionate American style. Ok, so I've been told what I did is weird in America, too. Regardless...he was now in America, studying at a school close-ish to DC. He was coming in for the weekend, and I had offered to show him around since he was a District Virgin.

Friday night, my roommates, my bee eff eff at law school (known affectionately as Just Eric), and I headed to AdMo to meet Brit & Co. "& Co" included: German, Another Brit, French, and Brazillian. Creative names, I know, but their nationalities make them who they are. This weekend was a whirlwind: Dinner & drinks at La Rumba, Jello (jelly if you're a Brit) shots at Millie & Als, dancing the night away at Grand Central. The nine of us had one of those perfect nights where the social circle fit perfectly. We introduced the lovely international friends to the glory that is the Jumbo Slice, a DC institution. The best part of the evening probably came when my roommate was smoking on the porch of Grand Central and a guy walking by thought it was a good idea to put her in a headlock.

After Friday night, I showed them the mall whilst hungover on Saturday; we took phallic pictures with the Wash Monument - the usual. I had a house party that night. We dinered it up on Sunday, and then they drove off. It was a perfect weekend. New friends, new adventures. That's when I made the change. And I suppose that's when things started to become interesting.

That girl.

I moved to the District in August of 08 to embark on that grand voyage that is known as law school. Now I'll be honest, I don't have good reasons for going to law school. I graduated and wanted to get a PhD in Art History (seriously???); that plan was foiled when the 15 programs I applied to all rejected me. So I did what any sensible liberal arts major who doesn't have a plan would do: apply to law school.

So it's a year later and I'm enrolled in law school. I thankfully moved to DC with two of my best friends from undergrad who came to the city with those hopes-and-aspirations-of-making-it-in-a-big-city that young people our age have (aka they were job-searching). I was leaving a boyfriend back home at our undergrad where he was still finishing up, but we had talked it thru and decided to try the long distance thing.

I move in, start classes, begin the adjustment to month-long sex droughts. In September the boy comes up to visit me in DC for our two year anniversary. I drive him to the airport on Sunday after an idyllic 3 days recreating our two years together in a new city. I say, "Good-bye, I love you, I'll see you in 26 days for fall break!" I'm sure you can see what's coming next, but maybe not its hellacious manner: I got a text from the boy as I'm pulling in my driveway: "I left you a letter on your nightstand. Please forgive me."

Yep, I was broken up with after two years by a note on my night stand. I'm "that girl." (Though I usually tell myself that he's "that guy" to make myself feel better)

So this blog is the story of how I've put my life back together, and the ridiculous situations that have resulted from me being "back on the market," if you will.