Ram.

A quick story. We went out for the first bar review of the semester during our first week back at school. I was, as usual, out on the dance floor making a fool of myself. I'm usually tall, and quite lanky, but I have a blast just acting a fool, with or without alcohol. I was wearing a sweater because of the cold, and I ended up ridiculously overheated with all the dancing. I asked one of my guy friends if he thought it would be weird if I took my sweater off; I was wearing a tank top underneath it. He said, "no, that's not weird, girls wear tank tops out all the time." This was sound logic to me at the time.

So off my sweater comes, and the rigor of dancing intensifies. It was an odd night in that my guy friends thought it was fun to get on either side of me, Night at the Roxbury style. So most of the evening I had a guy on either side. At one such a moment, guy A in front of me started getting a little too vigorous for my style. There's no other way to say this other than he was ramming himself into me. He realizes after a few seconds that this was not cool, but not before the damage was done.

The sheer force of him ramming into me knocked the strap of my tank top down, revealing my breast (thankfully still bra-ensconced) to the entire dance floor. There was a split second where everyone stopped. I swear the music did too - with one of those record scratches and all. Okay, maybe I just imagined that part.

And here I thought I was keeping my reputation at the law school intact. Guy A had to come along and throw a wrench in that plan...

Accidental Double Date

So my roommates have their own dating mishaps. I'm by no means the only one in our household who has the boy drama. Funny story, one of our friends called our apartment a "whore house" during the "Ultimate Shit Show" night because of the three boys being brought home. We were fairly offended at the time, but as time has gone on, we find it fairly funny. So "whore house" is what we often call our place now. In undergrad we lived in a place we lovingly called the "Crack House," so I guess we've established a trend.

C1 ended up dating the guy she picked up the night of the "Ultimate Shit Show." We call him Jason Bobby, in homage to the Hills/the City. C2 has been dating this guy she met at volunteer training. We call him Shaky Shake, or Shaky Tom, because he was so nervous that he was shaking when he asked for her number.

C1 and C2 end up having dates with their respective males on the same evening. They both end up going out to dinner in Chinatown. Both males had discussed the possibility of catching a movie after dinner, but neither had firm plans for such a movie before the dates started.

So, C2 and Shaky Shake finish their meal, and head towards E Street Cinema to see Slumdog Millionaire. They get seats and the lights go down. C2 looks up and sees a familiar face thru the dim light. She looks around and realizes the only two free seats left in the theater are next to her and Shaky Shake. And then realizes with horror that C1 and Jason Bobby are heading her way straight towards those seats. C1 sits down and feels a tap on her leg - It's C2 saying, "Hi - we're here too!"

DC is a pretty big city, but I think the fact that my roommates can accidentally go on a double date shows that sometimes its not big enough. Maybe I'll start dating in NoVa.

The Ultimate Shit Show

I have 5 of the best friends a girl could ask for. I live with two of them (C1 & C2). The other three flew up to DC for a New Years reunion.

Two nights after New Years, we went out for a night on the town. The 6 of us did girl-dinner at Meskerem before meeting up with some of my law school friends, and interestingly enough SPP's roommate Sean (Roommate John stayed in, and SPP was out of town). We all started out at, where else? Millie & Al's. Jello shots abounded, and a few pitchers were shared. We moved onto Brass Monkey eventually and stayed there to dance the night away.

Being that we were a group of 6 ladies on the town and that we were bangin' hot that night, 3 of the girls ended up picking up 3 guys. We all headed back to late night it at Sean & John's, aka Puff Daddy's. John was already asleep, but Sean and I jumped in bed with him, and never left. The three of us stayed up late talking and playing never-have-I-ever. I ended up spending the night as the middle spoon between SPP's two roommates while he was out of town...a bit odd to say the least. So what'd you do last night, Elise? Oh, nothing, just spooned with a guy I used to date's two roommates.

So when I wake up in the morning and walk the 1.5 blocks home, I arrive to find one of my friends on the couch and a boy on our loveseat. I went upstairs, and upon opening the door to my room I realize my bed is currently occupied by a couple. So I turn around and sit down in the hall, not knowing whose room I can go into. At this point I'd had maybe 2 hours of sleep. Thankfully the friend in my room came out and I asked her which room I could go into. I went into the only room occupied by two ladies, and we all started the debriefs...

We had one friend hook up with a guy in my bed. We had another friend hook up with a guy on our loveseat in front of the friend on the couch, only to leave him around 5 in the morning. And we had another friend who successfully baited and switched a guy onto a different of the girls by the end of the evening. At one point in the morning we were sitting on the stoop debriefing the evening, and I said the famous last words, "I think last night was the epitome of the phrase 'shit show.'" Little did I know the reality of that sentence.

After the guys were effectively kicked out, I walked into my room for the first time since it was relinquished by the amorous couple and realized my TV was missing. As was my laptop. My heart sank. I ran downstairs, yelling at the girls that my stuff was missing, and then we horrifying found that all 3 of our laptops, my small TV, plus 3 iPods and $1000 worth of jewelry were gone. Welcome to DC.

The police came and fingerprinted and took a report. It must have happened while we were out in AdMo. Everyone was too drunk or in the midst of hooking up with their respective catches to notice that the things were missing when they all got in a 3am. And I was off playing middle spoon, so I wasn't around. It sucks. A Lot. Losing all the stuff, feeling violated, feeling unsafe. The roomies and I have had a tough transition since, but we're going strong. We have been able to laugh about the experience by calling our burglar the "hamburglar." We were robble-robble-robbled!

Needless to say, 1/3/09 will go down in infamy as The Ultimate Shit Show. At least until Inauguration happened.